Book Review: The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us (2005). Martha Stout, PhD.

I first read this short but indispensable book a number of years ago.  I consider it to be one of the most important and eye-opening books I have read in recent years.  I have revisited it several times since, because it addresses an apparently permanent part of the human condition we must be aware of to understand much of the destructive and unbearable behavior we see around us.

 

As Dr. Stout points out, psychological research has shown that 4-5% of the human population, consistent across different cultures, is utterly lacking in a conscience.  The one person in 25 with this condition is simply unable to feel or comprehend common human emotions like guilt, remorse or empathy for anyone else.  This is what it is to be a sociopath, almost like an alien species among us that is threatening and dangerous to the rest of us, and that needs to be understood and recognized for us to be able to protect ourselves from them, whether in our personal relationships or in our larger social and political choices.

 

The author wrote this book after more than 25 years of working as a clinical psychologist with patients with disorders in the sociopathy range.  She brings many insights based on this personal experience, as well as her familiarity with the research on these disorders.  To begin, she explains that sociopaths exist along a spectrum, from the exasperating neighbor or co-worker who is always trying to “win” some pointless argument, to the demeaning and degrading boss, to the cold-blooded serial killer, and the monstrous autocratic leader of an oppressive dictatorship. 

 

She describes different aspects of typical sociopathic behavior: the fact that lacking all human empathy and connection, their only possible satisfaction is an endless search for “wins” over other people; their frequent high intelligence, and awareness of the common human emotions, but only as tools for manipulating others, not something they can ever feel; their belief that normal rules and laws of human civilization and society don’t apply to them; and their willingness to lie continuously without remorse.  

There is so much more valuable insight and illustrative stories from her case histories, but rather than recounting it all, I would just say: read this book.  Very highly recommended.